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The toughest question I've ever had to answer -
Tell us of a time where you have had someone tell you about a weakness you didn’t think you needed to improve on.
And no, self-righteous answers like "I've never felt that way before. I've always accepted constructive criticism with open-arms.", do not apply =P
I'm a nervous wreck every time i have to wait for my results. I didn’t sleep well for the past two nights, i was naturally worried. But yesterday, the verse of the day which i receive daily from air1 spoke to me.
It read:
And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7 NLT
I instantly felt better and had decent sleep last nite (well, yes, i still was a wee bit worried).
I woke up early this morning, said a short prayer and surrendered everything to Him. Thank God everything has turned out very well. I've been blessed with straight A+s. All glory to Him!
I'm a little lost for words, this result is definitely unexpected and i thank Him again, again and again!
My tongue often gets the better of me and this is something i'll have to work on.Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.
There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a twoel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"
Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came Up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before you boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, form a father!
Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too muchof youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
And there was so much that was good and fine and true in yourcharacter. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself overthe wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you alugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing buy a boy - a little boy!"
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.
He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman, - Psalm 15:2-3
Toodles!
You know that itch that's there when you get something new? That itch of constantly wanting to stare at it, play with it, and experiment with it. I've lost that itch.
I've lost that itch for blogging. I get bored with things quite quickly. Well, ive never really been an avid blogger; on average about 2 posts a week. But right now, i dont feel like blogging at all. I find it more of a chore than anything else. Each time i write something, i struggle with ways to pen down my thoughts. I've never been good with words thus thinking of how to phrase and string sentences doesn't come naturally. Anyway, i'll still update this blog every now and then.
Hmm..okok on some updates. Most of the guys have returned home for the summer. Right now Yarlet (the hostel that i live in) is rather quiet. Apart from Sean and I, there are 3 French guys and an Irish dude. They seem nice, the French are especially polite when they talk. Their accent makes them sound awfully sophisticated. But it's hard talking to the them, cos they dont seem to catch our Malaysian slang.
Today, i asked Pierre "So far, how's your internship going?"
He replied "Oh no no, it's not far; its only 20 mins from here."
I replied with a smile. Never mind la, it wasnt anything important anyway. Just small talk
Tomorrow we'll be heading down-town to try to find part time jobs. It's quite hard finding part time jobs here, Stafford is really small, thus positions are limited. Things here are also way more official. Even cleaning jobs (clean toilet, mop floor) require a well-typed, professionally done resume. There are also things like insurance and governmental registrations. But it's alright, i've got too much time on my hands anyway. It feels so odd, after 5 months of rushing; all of a sudden, im so free. I've still not fully adjusted to this schedule. I borrowed an 800 page Econs book yesterday and hopefully ill be able to finish it before term starts. Im thinking of pursuing an MBA after graduation. But unless i get a scholarship, that will be quite impossible. My parents have sacrificed enough and they'll need to finance my siblings.
Hmm....so what have i been doing? honestly, nothing much. Watched a few jdramas & kdramas, dota, sleep & eat. I highly recommend Gokusen I and II. Its based on a jap manga. It's gut-wrenchingly funny and some parts are really touching. If u like kdramas, Super Rookie isnt too bad.
Oklah, that's about it. Sean plans to celebrate his birthday tomorrow. Should be fun.
Toodles!
Worship instils unfathomable peace, takes away the burdens of life, and provides the strength needed in life's race.
And this is worship...
Sawaya's creations truly bring back wonderful childhood memories. I used to be a Lego fanatic. Would ask dad and mum to get them for birthdays, christmas, and during visits to 'Toys R Us'. Loved them, in fact i still like Lego. Last year when i was working at Children's Tech Workshop, i had a blast playing with their Robotics set. Right now, i feel like playing Lego; unfortunately my Lego sets are far far away.
Anyway, this entry ends here. I need to recuperate...not that blogging is work, but im just tired of typing...anyway my lappy needs a rest....it has been overworked and abused for way too long. It died and was revived (long story...). i better treasure its 2nd life. and , if u were me, u would be tired too....
Take a look...
My dad sent me this article...enjoy.
God : Hello. Did you call me?
Me: Called
you? No... who is this?
chat.
Me: I do pray. Just makes me feel good. I am actually busy
now.
I am in the midst of something.
God : What are you busy
at?
Me: Don't know. But I can't find free time. Life has become
hectic.
It's rush hour all the time.
God: Sure. Activity gets you busy. But
productivity gets you
results. Activity consumes time. Productivity frees
it.
Me: I understand. But I still can't figure out. By the way, I
was not
expecting YOU to buzz me on instant messaging chat.
God: Well I wanted to
resolve your fight for time, by giving
you
some clarity. In this net era,
I wanted to reach you through
the medium you are comfortable with.
Me:
Tell me, why has life become complicated now?
God: Stop analyzing life.
Just live it. Analysis is what makes
it complicated.
Me: why are we then
constantly unhappy?
God: Your today is the tomorrow that you worried
about
yesterday. You are worrying because you are
analyzing.
Worrying has become your habit. That's why you are not
happy.
Me: But how can we not worry when there is so
much
uncertainty?
God: Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is
optional.
Me: But then, there is so much pain due to
uncertainty...
God: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Me:
If suffering is optional, why do good people always
suffer?
God:
Diamond cannot be polished without friction. Gold cannot
be purified
without fire. Good people go through trials, but don't
suffer. With that
experience their life become better not bitter.
Me: You mean to say such
experience is useful?
God: Yes. In every term, Experience is a hard
teacher. She
gives the test first and the lessons afterwards.
Me:
But still, why should we go through such tests? Why can't
we be free from
problems?
God: Problems are Purposeful Roadblocks Offering
Beneficial
Lessons (to) Enhance Mental Strength. Inner strength
comes
from struggle and endurance, not when you are free from
problems.
Me: Frankly in the midst of so many problems, we don't
know
where we are heading...
God: If you look outside you will not
know where you are
heading. Look inside. Looking outside, you dream.
Looking
inside, you awaken. Eyes provide sight. Heart provides
insight.
Me: Sometimes not succeeding fast seems to hurt more
than
moving in the right direction. What should I do?
God:
Success is a measure as decided by others. Satisfaction
is a measure as
decided by you. Knowing the road ahead is more
satisfying than knowing you
rode ahead. You work with the
compass. Let others work with the clock.
Me:
In tough times, how do you stay motivated?
God: Always look at how
far you have come rather than how far
you have to go. Always count your
blessing, not what you are missing.
Me: What surprises you about
people?
God: when they suffer they ask, "why me?" When they
prosper,
they never ask "Why me" Everyone wishes to have truth on
their
side, but few want to be on the side of the truth.
Me: Sometimes I
ask, who I am, why am I here. I can't get the
answer.
God : Seek
not to find who you are, but to determine who you
want to be. Stop looking
for a purpose as to why you are here.
Create it. Life is not a process of
discovery but a process of
creation.
Me: How can I get the best out of
life?
God : Face your past without regret. Handle your present
with
confidence. Prepare for the future without fear.
Me: One last
question. Sometimes I feel my prayers are
not
answered.
Back to work! I'm living on frozen food and coding 12 hours a day! man, 2 1/2 more weeks!
God : There are no unanswered prayers. At
times the answer is
NO.
Me: Thank you for this wonderful chat. I am so
happy to start
the New Year with a new sense of inspiration.
God : Well. Keep the faith and drop
the fear. Don't believe your
doubts and doubt your beliefs. Life is a
mystery to solve not
a problem to resolve. Trust me. Life is
wonderful!
Heh, i really like this article from lifehacker, check it out.
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